Funeral Sandwiches; Otherwise Known as Ham Salad

The first time I ate a ham salad sandwich was at a funeral. The second time I ate ham salad sandwich was at a funeral. So were the third, fourth, fifth and etcetera times. In fact, up to about the fourth or fifth funeral at which I ate a ham salad sandwich, I was mentally referring to them as Anglican sandwiches; but then I branched out and attended a United Church funeral - where I was fed the exact same menu of tuna, egg and ham salad sandwiches on standard white or brown bakery bread, and assortment of squares and bars - and so was obliged to start calling them funeral sandwiches.

Tuna and egg sandwiches are common enough, but until I made my own I had never seen a ham salad sandwich outside of a funeral. In fact, it took me several funerals before I had even figured out what they were, and the general list of ingredients. For some reason, you never see them on sale, and I have never gone to anyone's house and been served one. If you check old cookbooks, you will see they were once common enough; it puzzles me a little that they have now become such an arcane item of eclesiastical ritual.

Being a Quaker, I had not realized until I had attended quite a few that the menus of church funerals were so steeped in unvarying tradition. For once we leave the committees to others and cater by means of pot-lucks, which means you will get a strange and always changing selection of items such as tofu casseroles and sushi, but someone is bound to bring a salad and some cheese and bread, so that's all right. Still, just like an awful lot of Quakers tend to sneak off for midnight mass on Christmas eve, it's sort of comforting to know that even if we wouldn't dream of bringing ham salad sandwiches to a funeral ourselves (what would the vegetarians eat?) there's other people out there engaging in time-honoured if theologically baffling rituals.

I do wonder what will happen when the present generation of refreshment committee ladies have had the ham salad sandwiches passed around over their own coffins. Are novices being initiated into the refreshment committees at a sufficient rate to ensure the survival of the ham salad sandwich? Or will the terrible day arrive when not only does no-one know how to make them, but no-one even knows that they ought to be made? I lie awake at night and worry about things like this.

Oh, and by the way - they're really very tasty. Don't wait for a funeral.

Enough for at least 8 sandwiches
About 10 minutes prep time, not counting cooking the ham


Ham Salad Sandwiches

2 cups chopped cooked ham
a slice of onion, or a green onion, if wanted
1/3 cup mayonnaise, light is fine
1/3 cup green cucumber relish
1 teaspoon mustard or horseradish

Put the ham into a food processor, with the onion slice or chopped green onion if desired, and process briefly, until finely chopped. Turn it into a bowl and mix with the remaining ingredients.

Use as a sandwich filling, or to stuff mushroom caps as an hors d'oeuvre.



Last year at this time I made German Style Red Cabbage & Apples.

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