Rats

We've been battling a rat problem since last fall. It's decidedly unappetizing.

Rat in trap by Eve Fox, the Garden of Eating, copyright 2016

They tunneled about in the compost bins - sometimes one would pop its almost-cute, little head out of a hole as I dumped the latest bucket of scraps in ("Oh, good, that lazy waitress is finally back!," they were probably thinking...) They wintered in the woodpile - a smart choice since it's cozily protected from the elements and conveniently located right next to the compost. We figured this out when the firewood became increasingly covered in copious amounts of rat droppings (which are a LOT bigger than mouse droppings) that we then had to sweep or knock off before loading it onto the wood cart each time we brought wood inside.

If they'd left it at that, I don't really think we'd have minded but they've also been breaking into the house for months, chewing holes through the dishwasher hoses and the dryer vent to get from the crawlspace into the pantry - where everything is now under lock and key after numerous messy meals that required me to clean the whole room.

Pantry under glass by Eve Fox, the Garden of Eating, copyright 2016

But of course it's not just the pantry, it's also the kitchen. They are fond of dragging whole bananas behind the dishwasher for what my husband and I have started to call a "banana party." For some reason, these celebrations get them whipped up into such a frenzy that they have to vent their excitement by chewing through the electrical wires that power the heating element of the dishwasher. It's happened a few times, fortunately, my husband is quite handy.... They also like to pull entire bags of pretzels behind the fridge and steal multiple tomatoes off the counter, somehow smearing them all over the floor in their frenzy. And they don't just come out at night - I have encountered them during the day - bold as brass.

In short, it's been a problem. We think (fingers crossed) that we've finally closed up all of the gaps, cracks and tiny holes that they were using to get inside. You would be amazed at the tiny spaces these creatures can fit through - it's really impressive!

But lately we've been seeing them tunneling and strolling about on the rock wall right behind the house and scurrying alongside the house and along the front deck. One even stood up on its hind legs to look through the glass of the front door the other day.

Rat traps by Eve Fox, the Garden of Eating, copyright 2016

We've put out some traps (clearly) and killed four in the last week. I was feeling all triumphant about it until I came across this disheartening bit of information in my research:

"Brown rats live in large, hierarchical groups. If a large fraction of a rat population is exterminated, the remaining rats will increase their reproductive rate, and quickly restore the old population level."

To which I can only say, "Well, shit." Not to mention that they're so smart that they've quickly learned to avoid the traps, no matter how alluring the bait we use is.

But we do not want to use poison since it could potentially kill other animals like hawks and coyotes and foxes that could eat the poisoned rats. Judging by how quickly the dead rats I've tossed into the woods have disappeared, they're clearly considered a delicacy. After all, they're raised on a diet of locally-grown, organic food that we've provided :)

A rat terrier would probably do the trick but we really, really do not want a dog. I could not handle having one more messy, hungry, needy being depending on me at this point.

We had been planning to get chickens this spring but are having second thoughts since we already have a rat problem and chickens tend to draw rodents... But we really want chickens! So we're at a bit of an impasse.

Hopefully, this is not too much information for you. I keep thinking about this blog and the seemingly millions of other food-related blogs out there and have decided that I am bored by most blogs and sometimes I am even bored by my own blog.

I am tired of blogs written in a cutesie tone sprinkled with lots of "for realz" and "you betcha"s and emoticons and perfectly posed pictures with stripey straws in them. Not only do I not have time to take perfectly posed photos, I also prefer writing that is honest. Blood and guts and failure and insecurity are all important parts of the human experience. Stripey straws, not so much. Perfect is boring.

So I am going to try to write more about what's really going on and that includes rats - lots of 'em. I will continue to write about food and gardening and the like, of course, but I want to curb my impulse to sugarcoat and sanitize things (though I did spare you the more graphic images of the dead rat in favor of this more genteel, Wicked Witch of the East-style one...)

Feel free to stop reading or unsubscribe if this is not your bag.

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